They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.