Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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