Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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(661): I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry." http://tfl.nu/yxdf

Replies (18) Good night (989) Bad night (3951)
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(970): View more from Colorado

you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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(970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9

Replies (18) Good night (1024) Bad night (4506)
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(310): View more from California

Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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(310): Obama is so hot when he ends wars. http://tfl.nu/7ljv

Replies (187) Good night (9339) Bad night (7293)
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(503): View more from Oregon

well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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(503): well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back http://tfl.nu/ecfc

Replies (5) Good night (3089) Bad night (1476)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?

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(401): I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple? http://tfl.nu/ri0o

Replies (2) Good night (1968) Bad night (1397)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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(603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb

Replies (26) Good night (11589) Bad night (1647)
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(816): View more from Missouri

he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life

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(816): he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life http://tfl.nu/u0np

Replies (13) Good night (2463) Bad night (2488)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.

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(973): That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this. http://tfl.nu/9yd7

Replies (10) Good night (1996) Bad night (919)
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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8

Replies (9) Good night (3971) Bad night (839)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)

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(413): Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option) http://tfl.nu/d3t6

Replies (13) Good night (4102) Bad night (774)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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(919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei

Replies (11) Good night (3540) Bad night (688)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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(217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp

Replies (9) Good night (2898) Bad night (631)
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(+45): View more from Denmark

The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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(+45): The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm. http://tfl.nu/ztnf

Replies (2) Good night (2744) Bad night (777)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?

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(804): I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT? http://tfl.nu/e21q

Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (829)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

Replies (2) Good night (1226) Bad night (367)

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