Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/xlmv
  Replies (48) Good night (1247) Bad night (2644)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech http://tfl.nu/je9d
  Replies (19) Good night (4161) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar. http://tfl.nu/tmrj
  Replies (15) Good night (3887) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over http://tfl.nu/fq6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1093) Bad night (3502)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/mf5n
  Replies (5) Good night (2534) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute". http://tfl.nu/z3mu
  Replies (29) Good night (1928) Bad night (3459)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. http://tfl.nu/937u
  Replies (9) Good night (5391) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits. (414): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kntv
  Replies (9) Good night (2207) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/np5r
  Replies (10) Good night (1628) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy http://tfl.nu/8tz5
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple. http://tfl.nu/ksa4
  Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about. http://tfl.nu/fvng
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it. http://tfl.nu/j3kl
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (261)

Randomize