Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
