Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
