i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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