Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
