i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
