Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
