You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
