why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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