That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
