I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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