Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
