so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
