I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
