Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
