do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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