How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
