Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
