so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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