just come out here and I will go home with you...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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