While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
