first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
