Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
