When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i've created a new STD.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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