We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
