He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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