I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
