Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
