so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize