i will never coherently bang her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
