Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
