Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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