woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Fuck appropriateness.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We had to coat check the pizza.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
