Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
