i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
