This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will pee on everything he values.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
