hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
