Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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