my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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