I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There r osticjed everywhere
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
