Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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