i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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