Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
