I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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