You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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