i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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