You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize