we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
