your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
