I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
