That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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