Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize