He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
