they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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