Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
