is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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