i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
