dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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