My boss' voice literally gives me gas
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
